There comes a time in everyone’s life when they realise they ain’t what they used to be. I may feel 30ish but my body says “who the fuck are you kidding”
We had made it to Port Macquarie, a gorgeous spot, parked our vans in the park on the breakwater and prepared to stay for a few days, fish, walk and paint a rock (it’s something you do in Port Macquarie). Unfortunately, the weather gods were not smiling at us. It had rained so hard that our site was hardly visible due to a minor flood, and gale force winds that rocked the trusty Jayco and not in the sense of “if the van is rockin’ don’t bother knockin’.” No, driving rain and howling winds were the order of the evening, leading us to plan the next day’s activities and pursue some indoor sports for fun.
Ten Pin Bowling it is. For me, this was awesome. Back in the day, I had been an Australian Champion Bowler, yes I may have been 18 at the time and I’m now somewhat 60ish but I’m sure you never lose your skills. We head off, arriving a little later than everyone else who had managed to find their balls and a bar. Who knew you were allowed alcohol at a bowling alley? Times had certainly changed for the better. We pair into teams and prepare to play, I strike on the 1st ball, and this is where I should stop the story because it all went downhill from there. We finish up, take selfies, have more bubbles n beer and head to a great outdoor bar. The sun is shining and we feel great……….until the next morning when you realise that bits of you are not responding to motion in a normal way. Everything is stiff, how could this be we had only played 2 games, it’s then you realise that your mind is refusing to believe how old you are but your body is screaming “dam bitch, next time take an anti-inflammatory with your champagne”
It was after this activity when Wandering West Australian Wife started to complain of pain in parts of her body that are not used to being stretched and pulled regularly, Mrs Roaming Romaior who can often be found laying on the floor of her caravan, legs in the air or bent over doing the downward dog in the effort to remain supple on her sojourn was also complaining of sore butt muscles. Where once upon a time a fun game meant you wanted to do it all over again I can honestly say….I’ll pass. As for being an ex-champion, the words from the song by Toby Keith come to mind “I ain’t as good as I once was, but Im as good once as I ever was”.
We then moved on from Port Macquarie to Crescent Head whose claim to fame is great surfing and a 6-hole golf course……. up a hill. Mrs Roaming Romaior, champion golfer and the 3 husbands were keen to play. I took one look at the course and thought..yer….nah. Mrs Wandering West Australian was still struggling to get into the caravan after the bowling challenge and also opted out of trekking across an uphill paddock with a big stick chasing a little ball.
They wander home, the men look slightly exhausted, Mrs Roaming Romaior has whooped their butts and yet they are not defeated because later in the afternoon we are heading to that ever exhilarating sport…….Lawn Bowls.
Mrs Wandering West Australian doesn’t join in the afternoon activity as according to her, she’s done a back leg butt muscle or pulled something in that region. I pick up my first ball, lean into the pitch and all at once feel something pop in my back leg…bloody hell I’ve done a hammy and playing lawn bowls no less. I soldier on, finish the games and head to the Friday afternoon meat raffle which is more of a competitive challenge that’s up my alley.
Thankfully the weather has improved so there will be no more sporting challenges other than the potential for the odd game of golf where I will be volunteering to drive the drinks cart whilst juggling the champagne and bottle of Voltaren.
Caravanning in Heels 